So I have been doing a lot of reading, self discovery (yeah well it never ends when your in a relationship with God) and having many intimate encounters with God and it has me very confident that I am becoming who God destined me to become. Not just on the outside but also internally!
I have come to the conclusion that the body of Christ needs to know who they are as individuals and corperately in Christ. We need to know both personally and corperately who we are with other people as well. Letting people know us, being honest about our feelings, and fears is one way to live by faith. if honest living is difficult generally, it is more difficult in relationships with a romantic potential. We need to take off the fig leaves and be naked and unashamed, knowing God has us covered.
We need each other as male and female to be fully human, fully Christian, fully the church and fully able to reflect the image of God. Men and Women who work together within the family of God honor God's intentions for the human creation. Common cause and purpose, as well as common values and means, are basic for healthy male-female friendships. Too many friendships today begin and end on the touchy-feely premise that functions only on the energy of the relationship itself. We need each other and we need healthy friendships. Friendships that focus on greater than those playing the role of friends. We are called to a greater and deeper assignment than just being in friendships with people. God has assigned folks in our lives to help unlock the doors needed to our destiny and for us to help unlock doors for others.
What we do together with common values and purpose helps define the edges of who we are in the relationship. Who we are in the relationship fosters the commonality of purpose and values held in the friendship that together serves God's greater intention for his creation. To many friendships fail from becoming ingrown and selfish. Yes even in the body of Christ this can happen that is why it's important to know who you are in Christ and know that God has you covered so that the the enemies attacks to put a wedge in the friendship touch you not.
True faith trusts God to keep his promises. A heart that recognizes how easily it can be decieved, especially by the promise of good things, is a heart that learns to trust God's goodness fully. So my question is Do you trust God fully?
Start today to trust God even in the area of friendships, I know I have and I have put down the fig leaf and come out of hiding and since I have God has allowed me to make some great friends, unveiled my beauty, released me to dance again, freed me from many things that were produced from ungodly behavior birthed out of many insecurities that I am now free from since I made the decision to position myself for acceptance with out having to work hard! I just let down the mask, and let the beauty be seen!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Single, Sassy, Satisfied
So I must admit I am not really fond of being in situations where I feel threatened by folks who have competitive behavior. I have never been one who has had to compete for anything and I will not start now! I know I am confident with who I am and with what the Will of God is for my life. So I won't allow anyone with insecurities to intimidate me. I will simply keep focusing on God and his Will for my life and in the end I will win!
So I started my new job today and now will be working 2 jobs 5 days a week! I have to say that this job is truly a blessing and is with some of the best kids I know! I may have to get up at 5am and be here by 7am, work both jobs til 11pm and not get home til midnight and get up and do it all over for the next 4 days but I love it! I am blessed beyond measure to be able to babysit these two kids! They are great.
So we are reading this book called Captivating and I must admit while its a good book, I am having a hard time getting into it...perhaps its because I don't have a lot of time to read during the week so I cram it in during the weekend. Or perhaps, its because the book is just not for this season of my life. But I am commited to reading it and will follow through with my commitment! I have to say that there are a few small selections from with in the book I do find very Captivating and Intreging to say the least. Perhaps, I will share those at a later date.
I went for a 2 mile walk Saturday and had a wonderful workout at the gym as well. I took some random pictures of what I seen while walking and I must say the sights although natural and common spoke to me and thus leading to my snapping a captured moment via photography. I have seen the most amazing sunsets the last two nights and I was left speechless both nights at the amazing artistry of the hand of God. Then today on my drive into work I got to share the most beautiful moment with my daughter as we were stopped at a 4 way stop. There were 2 large open fields on both sides and we casted our eyes on the one to the left of us as we sat at the stop sign and noticed a deer grazing amongst it. We rolled down the windows to get a better view (fog on the windows from the morning dew) and the deer was staring at us. We watched it for about 2 minutes letting the image of what we saw soak deep with in us! Breath taking to say the least, Amariah (my daughter) waived to the deer as we began to drive away! We got to experience 3 more moments like that as we drove to work. God truly made some beautiful creatures that live on this earth!
So I have to admit this week is looking good for me. Friday, was my daughter's father and me breakfast at her school and while her dad is absent from her and due to the recent divorce of my mom and her husband (now ex) grandpa has left the scene as well, so our pastor stepped in and took her to the school breakfast. She had the most amazing time and the smile on her face was priceless, even when friends asked if that was her dad. She said confidently "No, he's better than a dad, He's my pastor." I have been blessed beyond measure this year and to know the year is not over yet makes me anticipate more blessings and greatness!
I have come to the revelation that God has me covered because the last 5 weeks folks have been slinging verbal knives my way and trash talking me; while I know this I have not been affected by these attacks. I have been able to go about life as if nothing is wrong. I only know that they are attacking me because I have been praying and God revealed this to me. I even recently spent time with one of those people and was able to find myself smiling while in their presence. Loving your enemies can be easy if you know your covered by God and if you know that nothing can harm you. Not even gossip, trash talk, verbal assult against character or integrity! I also found I have a great Pastor who has started putting folks in their place for trash talking me! He has even went to the extent of taking folks out of so called leadership roles for the way they speak against me! God is true to his word, touch not the anointed and do them no harm! I know I am anointed and I know I am God's Princess so I know he has me covered from head to toe, left to right, front and back! I entered a new season of my life in Feb. of this year and while I find it hard to put into words what transformations have taken place inside me, I know they have occurred and I know they are for the better, I no longer find the things of the past to bug me or care what folks think of me. While yes a level of accountability is required I don't care anymore who says what, God is my advocate and will judge them according to their words!
I am excited about a few other new changes in my life that are taking place also as I position myself deeper in God.The more I become intimate with God the more I find that relationships don't seem to matter anymore! I know that in time God will bring me into meeting that I carry his missing rib! I am confident that God has this area covered for me as well, I no longer find myself worrying about it, but instead enjoying where I am now! I find myself skipping in the stores, smiling as I drive, singing as I work and just happy all around! I even was twirling around after church like a little girl in a sun dress in a field of flowers! I went to bed with a smile on my face after having the greatest night out with a few amazing folks! The drive home as the sunset and seeing the focused, deep in thought look on the faces of those riding with me was the highlight of my night! The fact that I knew they were thinking about God and the awesomeness he is and created made me smile! It was like watching a school age child astounished by the sight of something for the first time! Truly spectacular! I'd do it over and over if given the chance! Moments like that are what create memories that last forever!
Inspiration always occurs for me with one look into the eyes. Inspiration comes in many ways for me...but its moments like this where the eyes unlock the window to one's soul and the deep calls unto the deep!
well its time for me to bid a sweat and sorrow farwell for now, but perhaps later I shall venture to write more, til then be blessed and know your highly favored of God!
So I started my new job today and now will be working 2 jobs 5 days a week! I have to say that this job is truly a blessing and is with some of the best kids I know! I may have to get up at 5am and be here by 7am, work both jobs til 11pm and not get home til midnight and get up and do it all over for the next 4 days but I love it! I am blessed beyond measure to be able to babysit these two kids! They are great.
So we are reading this book called Captivating and I must admit while its a good book, I am having a hard time getting into it...perhaps its because I don't have a lot of time to read during the week so I cram it in during the weekend. Or perhaps, its because the book is just not for this season of my life. But I am commited to reading it and will follow through with my commitment! I have to say that there are a few small selections from with in the book I do find very Captivating and Intreging to say the least. Perhaps, I will share those at a later date.
I went for a 2 mile walk Saturday and had a wonderful workout at the gym as well. I took some random pictures of what I seen while walking and I must say the sights although natural and common spoke to me and thus leading to my snapping a captured moment via photography. I have seen the most amazing sunsets the last two nights and I was left speechless both nights at the amazing artistry of the hand of God. Then today on my drive into work I got to share the most beautiful moment with my daughter as we were stopped at a 4 way stop. There were 2 large open fields on both sides and we casted our eyes on the one to the left of us as we sat at the stop sign and noticed a deer grazing amongst it. We rolled down the windows to get a better view (fog on the windows from the morning dew) and the deer was staring at us. We watched it for about 2 minutes letting the image of what we saw soak deep with in us! Breath taking to say the least, Amariah (my daughter) waived to the deer as we began to drive away! We got to experience 3 more moments like that as we drove to work. God truly made some beautiful creatures that live on this earth!
So I have to admit this week is looking good for me. Friday, was my daughter's father and me breakfast at her school and while her dad is absent from her and due to the recent divorce of my mom and her husband (now ex) grandpa has left the scene as well, so our pastor stepped in and took her to the school breakfast. She had the most amazing time and the smile on her face was priceless, even when friends asked if that was her dad. She said confidently "No, he's better than a dad, He's my pastor." I have been blessed beyond measure this year and to know the year is not over yet makes me anticipate more blessings and greatness!
I have come to the revelation that God has me covered because the last 5 weeks folks have been slinging verbal knives my way and trash talking me; while I know this I have not been affected by these attacks. I have been able to go about life as if nothing is wrong. I only know that they are attacking me because I have been praying and God revealed this to me. I even recently spent time with one of those people and was able to find myself smiling while in their presence. Loving your enemies can be easy if you know your covered by God and if you know that nothing can harm you. Not even gossip, trash talk, verbal assult against character or integrity! I also found I have a great Pastor who has started putting folks in their place for trash talking me! He has even went to the extent of taking folks out of so called leadership roles for the way they speak against me! God is true to his word, touch not the anointed and do them no harm! I know I am anointed and I know I am God's Princess so I know he has me covered from head to toe, left to right, front and back! I entered a new season of my life in Feb. of this year and while I find it hard to put into words what transformations have taken place inside me, I know they have occurred and I know they are for the better, I no longer find the things of the past to bug me or care what folks think of me. While yes a level of accountability is required I don't care anymore who says what, God is my advocate and will judge them according to their words!
I am excited about a few other new changes in my life that are taking place also as I position myself deeper in God.The more I become intimate with God the more I find that relationships don't seem to matter anymore! I know that in time God will bring me into meeting that I carry his missing rib! I am confident that God has this area covered for me as well, I no longer find myself worrying about it, but instead enjoying where I am now! I find myself skipping in the stores, smiling as I drive, singing as I work and just happy all around! I even was twirling around after church like a little girl in a sun dress in a field of flowers! I went to bed with a smile on my face after having the greatest night out with a few amazing folks! The drive home as the sunset and seeing the focused, deep in thought look on the faces of those riding with me was the highlight of my night! The fact that I knew they were thinking about God and the awesomeness he is and created made me smile! It was like watching a school age child astounished by the sight of something for the first time! Truly spectacular! I'd do it over and over if given the chance! Moments like that are what create memories that last forever!
(Untitled for now)
With one look in your eyes,
I see freedom,
I see joy,
With one look in your eyes,
I feel love,
I feel peace,
With one look in your eyes,
I know all fear is gone,
I know who you are,
With one look in your eyes,
I embrace the hand of God,
I embrace art at its finest point,
With one look in your eyes,
I experience more than what meets the eye!
well its time for me to bid a sweat and sorrow farwell for now, but perhaps later I shall venture to write more, til then be blessed and know your highly favored of God!
Friday, June 18, 2010
The Deep Calleth to the Deep
Punky writes: Biting my tongue twiddling my thumbs... Ill smile and nod and be the puppet that you long me to be. Ill paint a pretty heart on my cheek and stare with painted eyes and red lips that are curved into a smile. Ill flash my rosy cheeks at you and let you tell me where to move and what to say. Ill give and give til I have nothing left, and wait til I get wore out just so you can throw me away and replace me with another puppet that has no flaws... Its a good thing that these eyes are painted, so no one can see the tears come spurting out of my eyes... And everyone will read this and think its about one thing, not knowing that really it has nothing to do with that at all... Because u see I'm a puppet, and puppets don't have feelings after all...
Wilbur writes: very very very good! ahh but when the puppet comes to life and cuts the strings then the party begins...while then the only tears shed are from the one who assumed they were in control, for you see even a good puppet has the ability to fight and win. Never see a good man down they say..well I say never let them see what new move the puppet has ... See Morelearned to do! For perhaps they are the puppet and you the one who controls their strings?? hmm ever thought the the answer doesn't lay within the puppet master's hand but in the heart of the puppet? hmm now for those who assume well bend over puppet and let them see the crack between the lines and for there is the real smile! and the only the ignorant have painted eyes. For in the eyes of the puppet will be found the depth of the soul. For every puppet has a heart beat, blood running in the veins, So dance my puppet for you are free indeed!
Punky writes: I see you understood it Can :) see this is just something I wrote to vent about the past a little... I was thinking and it came out like this... And indeed the puppet can be freed... But it takes a certain someone to free them... Jesus :)
Wilbur writes: Dearest, Jimminie cricket, I write thee for the sake of Pinochio you must begin to speak for in your voice will all others be silent, with you guidance will Pinochio find freedom. For is it not in riddles we speak? Parables that we come with? But the depth of the heart and the bottled tears we bring, for in our alabaster box we sacrifice the finest... See More of all! So think it not strange that you see the trail of blood that follows behind, for its that of the wounded trying to self heal as we stumble to the throne room of the Great I am pulling out the knives of those we once called friends...For though we are on the quest may the whale pass by for we are not Jonah as most may assume. We are mere soldiers who have found our way home after a long and hard battle out on the field. For no one knows the sights we have seen, no one knows what defeats we faced, yet here we stand after the fight...Sunset, and gentle breeze is all we have to remind us that we made it home from the war. Family is gone, Friends were burried at sea and time cause that one to move on.....Patients and God are what we clinge to now with a knowing that these old puppets can in deed breathe again!
Wilbur writes: very very very good! ahh but when the puppet comes to life and cuts the strings then the party begins...while then the only tears shed are from the one who assumed they were in control, for you see even a good puppet has the ability to fight and win. Never see a good man down they say..well I say never let them see what new move the puppet has ... See Morelearned to do! For perhaps they are the puppet and you the one who controls their strings?? hmm ever thought the the answer doesn't lay within the puppet master's hand but in the heart of the puppet? hmm now for those who assume well bend over puppet and let them see the crack between the lines and for there is the real smile! and the only the ignorant have painted eyes. For in the eyes of the puppet will be found the depth of the soul. For every puppet has a heart beat, blood running in the veins, So dance my puppet for you are free indeed!
Punky writes: I see you understood it Can :) see this is just something I wrote to vent about the past a little... I was thinking and it came out like this... And indeed the puppet can be freed... But it takes a certain someone to free them... Jesus :)
Wilbur writes: Dearest, Jimminie cricket, I write thee for the sake of Pinochio you must begin to speak for in your voice will all others be silent, with you guidance will Pinochio find freedom. For is it not in riddles we speak? Parables that we come with? But the depth of the heart and the bottled tears we bring, for in our alabaster box we sacrifice the finest... See More of all! So think it not strange that you see the trail of blood that follows behind, for its that of the wounded trying to self heal as we stumble to the throne room of the Great I am pulling out the knives of those we once called friends...For though we are on the quest may the whale pass by for we are not Jonah as most may assume. We are mere soldiers who have found our way home after a long and hard battle out on the field. For no one knows the sights we have seen, no one knows what defeats we faced, yet here we stand after the fight...Sunset, and gentle breeze is all we have to remind us that we made it home from the war. Family is gone, Friends were burried at sea and time cause that one to move on.....Patients and God are what we clinge to now with a knowing that these old puppets can in deed breathe again!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Clearer Vision on What I Deserve!
"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; now that I have become a man, I am done with childish ways and have put them aside." 1 Cor 13:11 AMP
Looking for the real man I am worthy of having this time around no more boys!
Friday, June 4, 2010
The Lips of the Untaimed Beast
"Loose lips sink ships..." an oldie but a goodie..Now if folks would just get ahold of this and realize the impact their words have on others. I am fastly approaching 30 years of age and find it annoying to say the least that folks find enjoyment, fulfillment, pleasure and satisfaction in gossip. I mean seriously, what benefit does really come from it? Oh wait the benefit of not having to be reminded that their junk smells or perhaps that they even have junk in their trunk they need to deal with. I mean seriously GROW UP!
It doesn't offend me that my name is being broadcasted by the mouths of many 'haters' or 'liars' but what does bother me is that these folks DO NOT know me..they haven't even spent time with me to allow the foolish utterings to be true. They are speaking from the garbage can they call a heart because of some deep seeded issue they have yet dealt with in their life. Which saddens me really. Because I know what it is like to have issues so deeply rooted that it affects me and others. However, I have gotten them removed and have changed the behavior those rooted issues have caused. Does that make me better than these folks...NO....JUST sets me up to be an expert in this area to help them become one too! Psalm 101:5 is I guess where I am coming from on this topic (as in Bibical foundation).
I went to the gym today and did a cardio workout...I am hoping to have the money for a personal trainer starting next week so that I can get to the weight lifting so I can tone and firm...but til then I will do what I can on my own and focus on keeping a positive mindset on this new adventure.
Well I must now go grab lunch and venture off to work where I will sit til 10:30pm again and then head home to be back to work at 6:30am til 5:30pm...Oh how I love to make money...lol well just have the needs met and the desires fulfilled that is!
Until next time let me challenge you with this....
What you say has the power to affect others...So How are you affecting others? Positive speech will result in positive affects and negative speech affects people to the core of their being and will last longer than positive, so start speaking positively about folks and to them and see yourself grow!
Oh and beware of the emotional vampires who will bleed you dry!
It doesn't offend me that my name is being broadcasted by the mouths of many 'haters' or 'liars' but what does bother me is that these folks DO NOT know me..they haven't even spent time with me to allow the foolish utterings to be true. They are speaking from the garbage can they call a heart because of some deep seeded issue they have yet dealt with in their life. Which saddens me really. Because I know what it is like to have issues so deeply rooted that it affects me and others. However, I have gotten them removed and have changed the behavior those rooted issues have caused. Does that make me better than these folks...NO....JUST sets me up to be an expert in this area to help them become one too! Psalm 101:5 is I guess where I am coming from on this topic (as in Bibical foundation).
I went to the gym today and did a cardio workout...I am hoping to have the money for a personal trainer starting next week so that I can get to the weight lifting so I can tone and firm...but til then I will do what I can on my own and focus on keeping a positive mindset on this new adventure.
Well I must now go grab lunch and venture off to work where I will sit til 10:30pm again and then head home to be back to work at 6:30am til 5:30pm...Oh how I love to make money...lol well just have the needs met and the desires fulfilled that is!
Until next time let me challenge you with this....
What you say has the power to affect others...So How are you affecting others? Positive speech will result in positive affects and negative speech affects people to the core of their being and will last longer than positive, so start speaking positively about folks and to them and see yourself grow!
Oh and beware of the emotional vampires who will bleed you dry!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
The New Adventure Part 2
So I have been doing a lot of thinking okay well not really a lot...more like normal thinking for me that ends up anylizing and thinking then anylizing and repeating that process again and again...on several issues that are faced on a day to day basis. And while I am not certain on the reason we face them or what they are to teach us the journey continues. And I have descovered a lot of things about myself along the way.
I am for one sick of folks judging me and assuming that I am someone/something I am not. I am greatful for the people in my life who understand what it means to truly have my back and to cover me from darts of drama, gossip and other malicious acts both verbal and non verbal.
I find it funny how folks know they do me wrong yet try to be all chummy buddy as if I don't know they are holding knives to stab me with while hugging me...Seriously, I find everything out..why...cuz that's how I role! lol
I also have learned that forgiveness is a choice and that I must forgive those people who malicious attacks so that I don't harbor bitterness and block forgiveness when I am in need of it. However, I have also learned just because a person says "sorry" doesn't mean that they are repenting or even asking for forgiveness. Sorry just means they got caught, repentance means they acknowledge their wrong and are determined to refrain from that behavior in the future because they are away of the wrong it holds and damage it does. So I am no longer looking for appologies but sincere repentance for wrong done me.
Kindness goes a long way I have learned, when folks run their mouth and trash talk me, I use a very wise tactic of killing them with kindness and love. It has gotten me a long way. In fact it almost always sets me up for promotion/growth!
Well seing how I am at work and I shouldn't be on here I suppose I will end now and pick up where I left off when I get home. Besides I need to read the a few chapters in a book our young adults group is reading for our devotion/bible study time together...Its called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge...not really digging it but I will force myself to read and learn from it....who knows it may get better than the first 3 chapters...just got to keep reading to see....
I have nothing wise or profound to leave you with so
*Chow
I am for one sick of folks judging me and assuming that I am someone/something I am not. I am greatful for the people in my life who understand what it means to truly have my back and to cover me from darts of drama, gossip and other malicious acts both verbal and non verbal.
I find it funny how folks know they do me wrong yet try to be all chummy buddy as if I don't know they are holding knives to stab me with while hugging me...Seriously, I find everything out..why...cuz that's how I role! lol
I also have learned that forgiveness is a choice and that I must forgive those people who malicious attacks so that I don't harbor bitterness and block forgiveness when I am in need of it. However, I have also learned just because a person says "sorry" doesn't mean that they are repenting or even asking for forgiveness. Sorry just means they got caught, repentance means they acknowledge their wrong and are determined to refrain from that behavior in the future because they are away of the wrong it holds and damage it does. So I am no longer looking for appologies but sincere repentance for wrong done me.
Kindness goes a long way I have learned, when folks run their mouth and trash talk me, I use a very wise tactic of killing them with kindness and love. It has gotten me a long way. In fact it almost always sets me up for promotion/growth!
Well seing how I am at work and I shouldn't be on here I suppose I will end now and pick up where I left off when I get home. Besides I need to read the a few chapters in a book our young adults group is reading for our devotion/bible study time together...Its called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge...not really digging it but I will force myself to read and learn from it....who knows it may get better than the first 3 chapters...just got to keep reading to see....
I have nothing wise or profound to leave you with so
*Chow
The New Adventure Part 1
So I have started the process of lossing weight. I went and did my orientation at the gym yesterday. The trainer gave me a 25 minute work out and man can I feel my hamstrings..lol I am so out of shape it's sad. I go back at 9am tomorrow for a one hour workout.
I am excited I really am, just scared cuz I don't have the money for the trainer 3 days a week like I want to have. So for a while I will have to do it on my own. Not a good thing...I like that motivation, accountability and that security of knowing someone is there to show me where I messed up if not using the equiptment right. I hate tackling new adventures alone. However, it seems that is the story of my life...Adventures alone!
I have learned over the last week several things about myself but right now my legs are killing me and I am exausted so that portion will have to wait til tonight to type. My friend and her son should be over here anytime for breakfast...yum yum! I love cooking for folks!
I work til 10pm tonight so til then for the next portion of the blog have a great day!
I am excited I really am, just scared cuz I don't have the money for the trainer 3 days a week like I want to have. So for a while I will have to do it on my own. Not a good thing...I like that motivation, accountability and that security of knowing someone is there to show me where I messed up if not using the equiptment right. I hate tackling new adventures alone. However, it seems that is the story of my life...Adventures alone!
I have learned over the last week several things about myself but right now my legs are killing me and I am exausted so that portion will have to wait til tonight to type. My friend and her son should be over here anytime for breakfast...yum yum! I love cooking for folks!
I work til 10pm tonight so til then for the next portion of the blog have a great day!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Bring It
So my weekend was full of adventure and a whole lot of questions. I don't like it when I KNOW folks are causing drama for me, I don't like KNOWING folks are spitting out my name added with a lot of lies and gossip, but what I HATE, is when they do this thinking I DON'T know what they do in the secret. I mean seriously do they not know that their lies, gossip and trash talk won't get back to me? I am learning however, to walk in love despite how they treat me. I am realizing that God will use irritating people to push me towards my destiny..So God, does this mean I am at the door cuz there be a lot of irritating people in my face lately...lol!!!
I have to say having my friend Rebekkah over this weekend has helped me smile and take my mind off this garbage...Well it's another Terrific Tuesday and I got to shower and get ready for work, will return later to post more...
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