Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Human Robot

Have you ever found yourself in a place where you have become robotic? I mean you have passed from routine into robotic. You no longer are aware of what is going on around you because you are beyond sleep deprived, emotions, routine even? I know I had become that way for a while because of the schedule that I have come to experience lately. I have to admit I hated that I had allowed myself to become so desensitized that I entered into the state of what I will call robotic!

Now, don't get me wrong, I did a few things out of the norm..I did find myself sitting over at a friends house for a few hours talking to him and watching Austin Powers....oh and laughing...laughing hard! But for the most part I woke up, went to work, went to the 2nd job, came home went to bed and repeated the process for several weeks. In between that I did manage to eat, shower and tend to my daughter but still something was missing. My ability to function as me had somehow become a lost treasure. Sunday I came home from church and crashed. I slept for what seemed like eternity yet in reality was only 6 hours! I woke up to Amariah asking me very quietly and gently "mommy, may I please put a new movie on..the other one has been over for some time and I played with my toys. B'cuz I didn't want to wake you..I knew you needed sleep." Now seriously...my 5 year old even knew I needed sleep and was willing to allow me the honor of getting some. So I woke up and put a new movie on for her and snuggled on the couch with her. She had the biggest smile on her face and said "I love you mommy" I have been truly blessed to have her in my life.

I went to our young adults class Sunday night and it was really good. The topic shared and spoken on really got me thinking...and perhaps even opened my eyes to what was really missing in my life as to why I had become robotic. Sleep. Imagine that...I am so accustomed to doing for everyone else that I often neglect me. I tend to allow myself to become the last priority and run myself ragged to help others. So I went to bed that night before midnight! I know right..for those reading this that know me this is a huge thing...No folks I wasn't sick. I just decided it was time to get back to bed at a decent time. So I managed to after young adults, getting dinner, giving the kid a bath, picking up the house, getting our stuff together for morning, putting the kid to bed and running down to the office to drop off rent (while granny stayed with Ami) seeing granny off, I found myself in bed before midnight!

The alarm went off as usual at 5:30am Monday morning and I woke up with out a problem! Imagine that..see what happens when one gets sleep! lol I wake up the munchkin..who might I add was very easy to wake up and she even had a smile on her face! we got ready and headed out for our day. I got to work at 7am and had a great time. then off to my 2nd job and guess what....Again I had a great time!!

I even managed to be in bed at 10pm I last looked at the clock at 11pm so I got some sleep yet again! Ami woke up today laughing from a dream she had..it was nice to see her smiling instead of being a grizzly bear who is grumpy from lack of proper sleep.

So where does all this fit into the lesson?

Simply....put it this way....when you are faithful to do what God is asking of you to do in the NOW season....you will be able to withstand what the enemy throws your way...and as you are found being faithful with the little much more will be given to you!

We too often think that this is in reference to the bigger things or issues in life...but in reality God is looking to see what we do with the little (what society would consider obsolete areas of life) so he can reward us by giving us those bigger areas things... Never under estimate the small things..for they could be the foxes that spoil the vineyard or they could be the very thing that brings promotion....

so til next time... work out your salvation by allowing yourself to be teachable, humble and wiling to repent when you mess up!