The Deep Calleth to the Deep

Punky writes: Biting my tongue twiddling my thumbs... Ill smile and nod and be the puppet that you long me to be. Ill paint a pretty heart on my cheek and stare with painted eyes and red lips that are curved into a smile. Ill flash my rosy cheeks at you and let you tell me where to move and what to say. Ill give and give til I have nothing left, and wait til I get wore out just so you can throw me away and replace me with another puppet that has no flaws... Its a good thing that these eyes are painted, so no one can see the tears come spurting out of my eyes... And everyone will read this and think its about one thing, not knowing that really it has nothing to do with that at all... Because u see I'm a puppet, and puppets don't have feelings after all...

Wilbur writes: very very very good! ahh but when the puppet comes to life and cuts the strings then the party begins...while then the only tears shed are from the one who assumed they were in control, for you see even a good puppet has the ability to fight and win. Never see a good man down they say..well I say never let them see what new move the puppet has ... See Morelearned to do! For perhaps they are the puppet and you the one who controls their strings?? hmm ever thought the the answer doesn't lay within the puppet master's hand but in the heart of the puppet? hmm now for those who assume well bend over puppet and let them see the crack between the lines and for there is the real smile! and the only the ignorant have painted eyes. For in the eyes of the puppet will be found the depth of the soul. For every puppet has a heart beat, blood running in the veins, So dance my puppet for you are free indeed!

Punky writes: I see you understood it Can :) see this is just something I wrote to vent about the past a little... I was thinking and it came out like this... And indeed the puppet can be freed... But it takes a certain someone to free them... Jesus :)

Wilbur writes: Dearest, Jimminie cricket, I write thee for the sake of Pinochio you must begin to speak for in your voice will all others be silent, with you guidance will Pinochio find freedom. For is it not in riddles we speak? Parables that we come with? But the depth of the heart and the bottled tears we bring, for in our alabaster box we sacrifice the finest... See More of all! So think it not strange that you see the trail of blood that follows behind, for its that of the wounded trying to self heal as we stumble to the throne room of the Great I am pulling out the knives of those we once called friends...For though we are on the quest may the whale pass by for we are not Jonah as most may assume. We are mere soldiers who have found our way home after a long and hard battle out on the field. For no one knows the sights we have seen, no one knows what defeats we faced, yet here we stand after the fight...Sunset, and gentle breeze is all we have to remind us that we made it home from the war. Family is gone, Friends were burried at sea and time cause that one to move on.....Patients and God are what we clinge to now with a knowing that these old puppets can in deed breathe again!

Clearer Vision on What I Deserve!

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; now that I have become a man, I am done with childish ways and have put them aside." 1 Cor 13:11 AMP








Looking for the real man I am worthy of having this time around no more boys!

The Lips of the Untaimed Beast

"Loose lips sink ships..." an oldie but a goodie..Now if folks would just get ahold of this and realize the impact their words have on others. I am fastly approaching 30 years of age and find it annoying to say the least that folks find enjoyment, fulfillment, pleasure and satisfaction in gossip. I mean seriously, what benefit does really come from it? Oh wait the benefit of not having to be reminded that their junk smells or perhaps that they even have junk in their trunk they need to deal with. I mean seriously GROW UP!

It doesn't offend me that my name is being broadcasted by the mouths of many 'haters' or 'liars' but what does bother me is that these folks DO NOT know me..they haven't even spent time with me to allow the foolish utterings to be true. They are speaking from the garbage can they call a heart because of some deep seeded issue they have yet dealt with in their life. Which saddens me really. Because I know what it is like to have issues so deeply rooted that it affects me and others. However, I have gotten them removed and have changed the behavior those rooted issues have caused. Does that make me better than these folks...NO....JUST sets me up to be an expert in this area to help them become one too! Psalm 101:5 is I guess where I am coming from on this topic (as in Bibical foundation).

I went to the gym today and did a cardio workout...I am hoping to have the money for a personal trainer starting next week so that I can get to the weight lifting so I can tone and firm...but til then I will do what I can on my own and focus on keeping a positive mindset on this new adventure.


Well I must now go grab lunch and venture off to work where I will sit til 10:30pm again and then head home to be back to work at 6:30am til 5:30pm...Oh how I love to make money...lol well just have the needs met and the desires fulfilled that is!

Until next time let me challenge you with this....

What you say has the power to affect others...So How are you affecting others? Positive speech will result in positive affects and negative speech affects people to the core of their being and will last longer than positive, so start speaking positively about folks and to them and see yourself grow!

Oh and beware of the emotional vampires who will bleed you dry!

The New Adventure Part 2

So I have been doing a lot of thinking okay well not really a lot...more like normal thinking for me that ends up anylizing and thinking then anylizing and repeating that process again and again...on several issues that are faced on a day to day basis. And while I am not certain on the reason we face them or what they are to teach us the journey continues. And I have descovered a lot of things about myself along the way.

I am for one sick of folks judging me and assuming that I am someone/something I am not. I am greatful for the people in my life who understand what it means to truly have my back and to cover me from darts of drama, gossip and other malicious acts both verbal and non verbal.

I find it funny how folks know they do me wrong yet try to be all chummy buddy as if I don't know they are holding knives to stab me with while hugging me...Seriously, I find everything out..why...cuz that's how I role! lol

I also have learned that forgiveness is a choice and that I must forgive those people who malicious attacks so that I don't harbor bitterness and block forgiveness when I am in need of it.  However, I have also learned just because a person says "sorry" doesn't mean that they are repenting or even asking for forgiveness. Sorry just means they got caught, repentance means they acknowledge their wrong and are determined to refrain from that behavior in the future because they are away of the wrong it holds and damage it does.  So I am no longer looking for appologies but sincere repentance for wrong done me.

Kindness goes a long way I have learned, when folks run their mouth and trash talk me, I use a very wise tactic of killing them with kindness and love.  It has gotten me a long way.  In fact it almost always sets me up for promotion/growth!

Well seing how I am at work and I shouldn't be on here I suppose I will end now and pick up where I left off when I get home. Besides I need to read the a few chapters in a book our young adults group is reading for our devotion/bible study time together...Its called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge...not really digging it but I will force myself to read and learn from it....who knows it may get better than the first 3 chapters...just got to keep reading to see....

I have nothing wise or profound to leave you with so

*Chow

The New Adventure Part 1

So I have started the process of lossing weight. I went and did my orientation at the gym yesterday. The trainer gave me a 25 minute work out and man can I feel my hamstrings..lol I am so out of shape it's sad. I go back at 9am tomorrow for a one hour workout.

I am excited I really am, just scared cuz I don't have the money for the trainer 3 days a week like I want to have. So for a while I will have to do it on my own. Not a good thing...I like that motivation, accountability and that security of knowing someone is there to show me where I messed up if not using the equiptment right.  I hate tackling new adventures alone. However, it seems that is the story of my life...Adventures alone!

I have learned over the last week several things about myself but right now my legs are killing me and I am exausted so that portion will have to wait til tonight to type. My friend and her son should be over here anytime for breakfast...yum yum! I love cooking for folks!

I work til 10pm tonight so til then for the next portion of the blog have a great day!

Bring It

So my weekend was full of adventure and a whole lot of questions. I don't like it when I KNOW folks are causing drama for me, I don't like KNOWING folks are spitting out my name added with a lot of lies and gossip, but what I HATE, is when they do this thinking I DON'T know what they do in the secret. I mean seriously do they not know that their lies, gossip and trash talk won't get back to me? I am learning however, to walk in love despite how they treat me. I am realizing that God will use irritating people to push me towards my destiny..So God, does this mean I am at the door cuz there be a lot of irritating people in my face lately...lol!!!

I have to say having my friend Rebekkah over this weekend has helped me smile and take my mind off this garbage...Well it's another Terrific Tuesday and I got to shower and get ready for work, will return later to post more...

*chow

Breakfast at Tiffany's without Tiffany! lol

So I am up and getting ready for work, I am having my friend and her kid over for a late breakfast early lunch before work. I enjoy socialization if you haven't figured it out by now! I mean seriously living in a cave all alone is not healthy or fun I am always looking to spread my wings and fly into a social setting. Now once I get there I may be found just watching but at least I am there! lol

Well I found out that my daughter is going to grandma's for the night so I that leaves me home alone! AGHHH! lol Whatever shall I do?? lol  Perhaps I will finish putting all the laundry away when I get home I am sick of seeing all the clean clothes in baskets or nice folded piles on my bedroom floor. How did we ever accumilate all these clothes? Seriously, if you came over you'd think there were like 3 girls living her just based on clothes. I have done all the weeding out of clothes too! My My!!

I have more to say but the time is short tune in again after 10pm to find out what happens in part two of my day!

*chow

Mommy's Tears

I was awakened at 3am to "Mommy I have to go potty" so I replied "go baby then go back to bed." I hear the most blood crudling scream coming from the bathroom followed by "mommy there is blood in the potty" I jump from bed run to the bathroom to discover my daughter is bleeding. She is only 5 years old. I call my mom since I knew she'd be up because I know her schedule to talk to her a minute. Then I decide to take my daughter to the emergency room. I am glad I did. Turns out she has a very bad bad urinary track infection that is causing blood in the urine. Of course they gave her an antibiotic and her first dose while she was there then sent us on our way. We came home she went back to bed so of course I did too and we didnt wake up til 11am. I was advised to stay home today with her because she is having a lot of accidents and needs to be at home drinking a lot of water and cranberry juice. So I am going to take that and be obedient and keep her home.

That is all for now!

What Does It Mean To Be a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N?

Everyone knows that to be a Christian is more than just Sunday church services, small group Bible studies and potlucks, right? I mean, we've heard from the pulpit or from the scriptures, "God want's more than two hours a week on Sunday morning, He wants your heart, He wants your whole life."

So, since we know this, what more is there in our lives and in our hearts to testify of our faith? If church on Sunday is a given, and Bible study is squeezed in between dinner and bed on Thursday, what else is there??

What does that even mean? "...God wants your heart." He wants our complete obedience? He wants to do everything He tells us to do? He wants us to go to church and never miss? Is it simply that He wants us to do a number of daily tasks--read our Bible, smile and say thank you, go to church, and be joyful always? And if we do these things we've granted His request for our hearts?

We say, "well, no. I don't think that's it. I think there's more to it than that."

Okay, so, what is it? I mean, we're Christians, right? And if being a Christian is more, more than church services, Bible-reading, table manners and PG movies, then we should do something more, something in addition, right?

To be a Christian means to "be as Christ," or, "little Christ." That's all of it. That's what it means to be a Christian. But, the catch is that anything less than this will not be sufficient. Anything less means you're no different from the guy or girl who knows NOTHING of Jesus, who's never stepped into church or said a prayer.

We say, "Well, that's impossible. Jesus was perfect. He never sinned. He always did what was right, even when he was tempted to do wrong. He helped the poor...lived with them actually, he made long trips just to heal someone or help them with their struggles. He walked everywhere he went, and, well you just can't do that today, cities are much larger and time is too scarce... He always told people the truth, even if they wouldn't like hearing it... He spoke to large crowds about life and truth and baptized people and prayed for them, I mean He was a a real leader, the GREATEST leader, and I don't even like talking in front of my small group Bible study... God can't possibly ask me to be like HIM???"

Yet, that is the truth we find, read, and re-read throughout the Scriptures. We must be like Him. Anything less isn't enough. Thank God for grace.

Sing the Melody from Within

Sing, sing, don't stop keep singing,

"I am trying, I really am, its hard"

Push, don't let the circumstances you face or that suround you silence your song"

"I am pushing, I just don't know if I can keep pushing. even the strong get weak at times."

Ever feel like that is the coversation you have when life throws more on your shoulders than you think you can handle? I know there have been times when I have been the one screaming I am singing my song but it hurts.....and then there have been times when I have been found guilty of just giving up and letting the inner song fade deep into the darkness of piling high circumstances.......and falling into a "pity party" because it was easier than pushing through while singing loud my hearts song.


So lets assume you have gotten to a place where you have forgotten the lyrics to the song that you sing? Or perhaps you have come to the place where you question the importance of even singing your song when it seems like nothing is changing....

Well for me I found that my song was a bit of strength for me and the more I sang the more I seen myself gain determination to keep my head held high and push through whatever was facing me. I often say I am not that strong, but I have found that I am stronger than I really give myself credit for.....

Okay so back to what do you do if the song you sing has become a silent memory and your longing to sing again....

1. Remember that nothing is worth letting your song die.
2. Everything we face is to help us sing louder despite the "pushing process"
3. Memorize and Believe Isaiah 12:2 " Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid for the Lord is my strength and my song, He is also my salvation."

We know that Jevhovah is our strength but do we make him our song? As we make Him so and sing of Him, we lose our fear. We are able to "trust and not be afraid." Our Redeemer is our STRENGTH so make him your SONG too!

I know some of you are reading this and perhaps you feel that its God that is to blame for your mess, or even loosing your song. But I assure you that isn't the case and if you allow him to be your savior again and begin to sing your song, you will see that He is your strength and your Song will begin to be heard across the drama you face and the obsticles that stand in your way....and perhaps its your song that helps someone else out of the "pit" they are in that has allowed them to loose their song....and they begin to sing their song in turn helping others find their voice, song and purpose in life.