The New Adventure Part 2

So I have been doing a lot of thinking okay well not really a lot...more like normal thinking for me that ends up anylizing and thinking then anylizing and repeating that process again and again...on several issues that are faced on a day to day basis. And while I am not certain on the reason we face them or what they are to teach us the journey continues. And I have descovered a lot of things about myself along the way.

I am for one sick of folks judging me and assuming that I am someone/something I am not. I am greatful for the people in my life who understand what it means to truly have my back and to cover me from darts of drama, gossip and other malicious acts both verbal and non verbal.

I find it funny how folks know they do me wrong yet try to be all chummy buddy as if I don't know they are holding knives to stab me with while hugging me...Seriously, I find everything out..why...cuz that's how I role! lol

I also have learned that forgiveness is a choice and that I must forgive those people who malicious attacks so that I don't harbor bitterness and block forgiveness when I am in need of it.  However, I have also learned just because a person says "sorry" doesn't mean that they are repenting or even asking for forgiveness. Sorry just means they got caught, repentance means they acknowledge their wrong and are determined to refrain from that behavior in the future because they are away of the wrong it holds and damage it does.  So I am no longer looking for appologies but sincere repentance for wrong done me.

Kindness goes a long way I have learned, when folks run their mouth and trash talk me, I use a very wise tactic of killing them with kindness and love.  It has gotten me a long way.  In fact it almost always sets me up for promotion/growth!

Well seing how I am at work and I shouldn't be on here I suppose I will end now and pick up where I left off when I get home. Besides I need to read the a few chapters in a book our young adults group is reading for our devotion/bible study time together...Its called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge...not really digging it but I will force myself to read and learn from it....who knows it may get better than the first 3 chapters...just got to keep reading to see....

I have nothing wise or profound to leave you with so

*Chow

The New Adventure Part 1

So I have started the process of lossing weight. I went and did my orientation at the gym yesterday. The trainer gave me a 25 minute work out and man can I feel my hamstrings..lol I am so out of shape it's sad. I go back at 9am tomorrow for a one hour workout.

I am excited I really am, just scared cuz I don't have the money for the trainer 3 days a week like I want to have. So for a while I will have to do it on my own. Not a good thing...I like that motivation, accountability and that security of knowing someone is there to show me where I messed up if not using the equiptment right.  I hate tackling new adventures alone. However, it seems that is the story of my life...Adventures alone!

I have learned over the last week several things about myself but right now my legs are killing me and I am exausted so that portion will have to wait til tonight to type. My friend and her son should be over here anytime for breakfast...yum yum! I love cooking for folks!

I work til 10pm tonight so til then for the next portion of the blog have a great day!

Bring It

So my weekend was full of adventure and a whole lot of questions. I don't like it when I KNOW folks are causing drama for me, I don't like KNOWING folks are spitting out my name added with a lot of lies and gossip, but what I HATE, is when they do this thinking I DON'T know what they do in the secret. I mean seriously do they not know that their lies, gossip and trash talk won't get back to me? I am learning however, to walk in love despite how they treat me. I am realizing that God will use irritating people to push me towards my destiny..So God, does this mean I am at the door cuz there be a lot of irritating people in my face lately...lol!!!

I have to say having my friend Rebekkah over this weekend has helped me smile and take my mind off this garbage...Well it's another Terrific Tuesday and I got to shower and get ready for work, will return later to post more...

*chow

Breakfast at Tiffany's without Tiffany! lol

So I am up and getting ready for work, I am having my friend and her kid over for a late breakfast early lunch before work. I enjoy socialization if you haven't figured it out by now! I mean seriously living in a cave all alone is not healthy or fun I am always looking to spread my wings and fly into a social setting. Now once I get there I may be found just watching but at least I am there! lol

Well I found out that my daughter is going to grandma's for the night so I that leaves me home alone! AGHHH! lol Whatever shall I do?? lol  Perhaps I will finish putting all the laundry away when I get home I am sick of seeing all the clean clothes in baskets or nice folded piles on my bedroom floor. How did we ever accumilate all these clothes? Seriously, if you came over you'd think there were like 3 girls living her just based on clothes. I have done all the weeding out of clothes too! My My!!

I have more to say but the time is short tune in again after 10pm to find out what happens in part two of my day!

*chow

Mommy's Tears

I was awakened at 3am to "Mommy I have to go potty" so I replied "go baby then go back to bed." I hear the most blood crudling scream coming from the bathroom followed by "mommy there is blood in the potty" I jump from bed run to the bathroom to discover my daughter is bleeding. She is only 5 years old. I call my mom since I knew she'd be up because I know her schedule to talk to her a minute. Then I decide to take my daughter to the emergency room. I am glad I did. Turns out she has a very bad bad urinary track infection that is causing blood in the urine. Of course they gave her an antibiotic and her first dose while she was there then sent us on our way. We came home she went back to bed so of course I did too and we didnt wake up til 11am. I was advised to stay home today with her because she is having a lot of accidents and needs to be at home drinking a lot of water and cranberry juice. So I am going to take that and be obedient and keep her home.

That is all for now!

What Does It Mean To Be a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N?

Everyone knows that to be a Christian is more than just Sunday church services, small group Bible studies and potlucks, right? I mean, we've heard from the pulpit or from the scriptures, "God want's more than two hours a week on Sunday morning, He wants your heart, He wants your whole life."

So, since we know this, what more is there in our lives and in our hearts to testify of our faith? If church on Sunday is a given, and Bible study is squeezed in between dinner and bed on Thursday, what else is there??

What does that even mean? "...God wants your heart." He wants our complete obedience? He wants to do everything He tells us to do? He wants us to go to church and never miss? Is it simply that He wants us to do a number of daily tasks--read our Bible, smile and say thank you, go to church, and be joyful always? And if we do these things we've granted His request for our hearts?

We say, "well, no. I don't think that's it. I think there's more to it than that."

Okay, so, what is it? I mean, we're Christians, right? And if being a Christian is more, more than church services, Bible-reading, table manners and PG movies, then we should do something more, something in addition, right?

To be a Christian means to "be as Christ," or, "little Christ." That's all of it. That's what it means to be a Christian. But, the catch is that anything less than this will not be sufficient. Anything less means you're no different from the guy or girl who knows NOTHING of Jesus, who's never stepped into church or said a prayer.

We say, "Well, that's impossible. Jesus was perfect. He never sinned. He always did what was right, even when he was tempted to do wrong. He helped the poor...lived with them actually, he made long trips just to heal someone or help them with their struggles. He walked everywhere he went, and, well you just can't do that today, cities are much larger and time is too scarce... He always told people the truth, even if they wouldn't like hearing it... He spoke to large crowds about life and truth and baptized people and prayed for them, I mean He was a a real leader, the GREATEST leader, and I don't even like talking in front of my small group Bible study... God can't possibly ask me to be like HIM???"

Yet, that is the truth we find, read, and re-read throughout the Scriptures. We must be like Him. Anything less isn't enough. Thank God for grace.

Sing the Melody from Within

Sing, sing, don't stop keep singing,

"I am trying, I really am, its hard"

Push, don't let the circumstances you face or that suround you silence your song"

"I am pushing, I just don't know if I can keep pushing. even the strong get weak at times."

Ever feel like that is the coversation you have when life throws more on your shoulders than you think you can handle? I know there have been times when I have been the one screaming I am singing my song but it hurts.....and then there have been times when I have been found guilty of just giving up and letting the inner song fade deep into the darkness of piling high circumstances.......and falling into a "pity party" because it was easier than pushing through while singing loud my hearts song.


So lets assume you have gotten to a place where you have forgotten the lyrics to the song that you sing? Or perhaps you have come to the place where you question the importance of even singing your song when it seems like nothing is changing....

Well for me I found that my song was a bit of strength for me and the more I sang the more I seen myself gain determination to keep my head held high and push through whatever was facing me. I often say I am not that strong, but I have found that I am stronger than I really give myself credit for.....

Okay so back to what do you do if the song you sing has become a silent memory and your longing to sing again....

1. Remember that nothing is worth letting your song die.
2. Everything we face is to help us sing louder despite the "pushing process"
3. Memorize and Believe Isaiah 12:2 " Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid for the Lord is my strength and my song, He is also my salvation."

We know that Jevhovah is our strength but do we make him our song? As we make Him so and sing of Him, we lose our fear. We are able to "trust and not be afraid." Our Redeemer is our STRENGTH so make him your SONG too!

I know some of you are reading this and perhaps you feel that its God that is to blame for your mess, or even loosing your song. But I assure you that isn't the case and if you allow him to be your savior again and begin to sing your song, you will see that He is your strength and your Song will begin to be heard across the drama you face and the obsticles that stand in your way....and perhaps its your song that helps someone else out of the "pit" they are in that has allowed them to loose their song....and they begin to sing their song in turn helping others find their voice, song and purpose in life.

Lessons Learned From The Princess

A great king of a land far away in the East had a daughter who was very beautiful, but so proud and haughty and conceited, that none of the princes who came to ask for her hand in marriage was good enough for her. All she ever did was make fun of them.
Once upon a time the king held a great feast and invited all her suitors. They all sat in a row, ranged according to their rank -- kings and princes and dukes and earls and counts and barons and knights. When the princess came in, as she passed by them, she had something spiteful to say to each one.
The first was too fat: 'He's as round as a tub,' she said.
The next was too tall: 'What a maypole!' she said.
The next was too short: 'What a dumpling!' she said.
The fourth was too pale, and she called him 'Wallface.'
The fifth was too red, so she called him 'Coxcomb.'
The sixth was not straight enough; so she said he was like a green stick that had been laid to dry over a baker's oven. She had some joke to crack about every one. But she laughed most of all at a good king who was there.
'Look at him,' she said; 'his beard is like an old mop; he shall be called Grisly-beard.' So the king got the nickname of Grisly-beard.
But the old king was very angry when he saw how his daughter behaved and how badly she treated all his guests. He vowed that, willing or unwilling, she would marry the first man that came to the door.
Two days later a travelling fiddler came by the castle. He began to play under the window and begged for money and when the king heard him, he said, 'Let him come in.'
So, they brought the dirty-looking fellow in and, when he had sung before the king and the princess, he begged for a gift.
The king said, 'You have sung so well that I will give you my daughter to take as your wife.'
The princess begged and prayed; but the king said, 'I have sworn to give you to the first man who came to the door, and I will keep my word.'
Words and tears were to no avail; the parson was sent for, and she was married to the fiddler.
When this was over, the king said, 'Now get ready to leave -- you must not stay here -- you must travel with your husband.'
So the fiddler left the castle, and took the princess with him.
Soon they came to a great wood.
'Pray,' she said, 'whose is this wood?'
'It belongs to King Grisly-beard,' he answered; 'hadst thou taken him, all would have been thine.'
'Ah! unlucky wretch that I am!' she sighed; 'would that I had married King Grisly-beard!'
Next they came to some fine meadows.
'Whose are these beautiful green meadows?' she said.
'They belong to King Grisly-beard, hadst thou taken him, they would all have been thine.'
'Ah! unlucky wretch that I am!' she said; 'would that I had married King Grisly-beard!'
Then they came to a great city. 'Whose is this noble city?' she said.
'It belongs to King Grisly-beard; hadst thou taken him, it would all have been thine.'
'Ah! wretch that I am!' she sighed; 'why did I not marry King Grisly-beard?'
'That is no business of mine,' said the fiddler, 'why should you wish for another husband? Am I not good enough for you?'
At last they came to a small cottage. 'What a paltry place!' she said; 'to whom does that little dirty hole belong?'
The fiddler said, 'That is your and my house, where we are to live.'
'Where are your servants?' she cried.
'What do we want with servants?' he said; 'you must do for yourself whatever is to be done. Now make the fire, and put on water and cook my supper, for I am very tired.'
But the princess knew nothing of making fires and cooking, and the fiddler was forced to help her.
When they had eaten a very scanty meal they went to bed; but the fiddler called her up very early in the morning to clean the house.
They lived like that for two days and when they had eaten up all there was in the cottage, the man said, 'Wife, we can't go on thus, spending money and earning nothing. You must learn to weave baskets.'
Then the fiddler went out and cut willows, and brought them home, and she began to weave; but it made her fingers very sore.
'I see this work won't do,' he said, 'try and spin; perhaps you will do that better.'
So she sat down and tried to spin; but the threads cut her tender fingers until the blood ran.
'See now,' said the fiddler, 'you are good for nothing; you can do no work. What a bargain I have got! However, I'll try and set up a trade in pots and pans, and you shall stand in the market and sell them.'
'Alas!' she sighed, 'if any of my father's court should pass by and see me standing in the market, how they will laugh at me!'
But her husband did not care about that, and said she would have to work if she did not want to die of hunger.
At first the trade went well because many people, seeing such a beautiful woman, went to buy her wares and paid their money without even thinking of taking away the goods. They lived on this as long as it lasted and then her husband bought a fresh lot of pots and pans, and she sat herself down with it in the corner of the market.
However, soon a drunken soldier soon came by and rode his horse against her stall and broke all her goods into a thousand pieces.
She began to cry, and did not know what to do. 'Ah! what will become of me?' she said; 'what will my husband say?' So she ran home and told him everything.
'Who would have thought you would have been so silly,' he said, 'as to put an earthenware stall in the corner of the market, where everybody passes? But let us have no more crying; I see you are not fit for this sort of work, so I have been to the king's palace, and asked if they did not want a kitchen-maid; and they say they will take you, and there you will have plenty to eat.'
So the princess became a kitchen-maid and helped the cook to do all the dirtiest work. She was allowed to carry home some of the meat that was left over, and they lived on that.
She had not been there long before she heard that the king's eldest son was passing by, on his way to get married. She went to one of the windows and looked out. Everything was ready and all the pomp and brightness of the court was there. Seeing it, she grieved bitterly for the pride and folly that had brought her so low. The servants gave her some of the rich meats and she put them into her basket to take home.
All of a sudden, as she was leaving, in came the king's son in his golden clothes. When he saw such a beautiful woman at the door, he took her by the hand and said she should be his partner in the dance. She trembled with fear because she saw that it was King Grisly-beard, who was making fun of her. However, he kept hold of her, and led her into the hall. As she entered, the cover of the basket came off, and the meats in it fell out. Everybody laughed and jeered at her and she was so ashamed that she wished she were a thousand feet deep in the earth. She sprang over to the door so that she could run away but on the steps King Grisly-beard overtook her, brought her back and said:
'Fear me not! I am the fiddler who has lived with you in the hut. I brought you there because I truly loved you. I am also the soldier that overset your stall. I have done all this only to cure you of your silly pride, and to show you the folly of your ill-treatment of me. Now it is all over: you have learnt wisdom, and it is time to hold our marriage feast.'
Then the chamberlains came and brought her the most beautiful robes. Her father and his whole court were already there, and they welcomed her home. Joy was in every face and every heart. The feast was grand; they danced and sang; everyone was merry; and I only wish that you and I had been there.
The End...But Wait there is more...


After reading this story I was reminded of how much our Heavenly Father loves us, flaws, short comings and all! We are his princesses and yet his bride. Think about that...Here is a king of royalty willing to take us ratty, tattered and torn, broken, bruised, scarred and flawed, and extend mercy and grace that cleans us up and makes us shining and new as if we just stepped out of a salon from an extreme makeover.

There are more times than we can count I am sure where we sell ourself short in areas of life. Yet in God's eyes we are doing a good job. Being our own worse critic can sometimes cause condemnation where conviction isn't. Yet we beat ourselves up time and time again when our Abba Father is saying, "my daughter, its okay...so you messed up, you repented its forgotten. Relax, Rest, Tomorrow is a new day." Yet we somehow feel as if he isn't being sincere so we keep trying to perfect ourselves. When we really need to heed to his voice and breathe, start fresh when the sun comes up. Had the above princess in the story had not let her pride get in the way..she perhaps could of cut a lot of crap out of her journey to the castle of her new husband. When we humble ourselves to the Will, Voice and Guidance of God we too can save ourself a lot of crap (talking from experience). So my fellow princesses let's learn from this prideful princess (in the story) and take a position of being humble, teachable and Christlike Character so we can advance to the next place with/in God!

My Love Story

Its in the secret place where I feel your embrace, with every intimate encounter we share my love for you grows stronger. No one knows I crave for these times, for with you I am complete. Only you could come out of the grave holding all power and authority and all the while molding me and into your image day by da. I will do my best not to defile our sacred chamber of romance, for when Im with you I find rest. No one compares to you my love, your joy unspeakable your touch undeniable. You’ve awakened my heart stirred my spirit and settled my soul. You have many names yet you play no games, You love so genuinely and unconditionally yet I tend to be selfish and limiting. How can this be my dear love? When I am with you there is no fear cuz I know your always near. I’ve experienced you for myself so I know that your not a myth. They said taste and see how good you are but to me you are great! You’re the lover of my soul, the best I know, my friend, my redeemer, My council, my joy, my abba, my fair one, my judge, my advocate, the great I am who loves and is by far is the best love I could have!

Candace, That's Me

It was one of those days today where the head was just spinning round and round and around....and wouldnt stop..no folks I wasnt hung over, or drinking..I was doing what I always do and that is think! I know right call the press, alert the media Candace thinks...lol I think way too much if you ask me....I was blessed (I've been told) with a very anylitical brain which means it never shuts down...if put up against the energizer bunny in a race my brain would leave the bunny hoping in the dust as it flies down the track! Seriously I think I am the only human with a brain that goes 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 mph. I know right seems impossible yet alone hard to even translate into numberical verbal language...


So I should be sleeping by now but like I said my head is keeping the rest of me awake and no matter what I do, say, pray or try here I am plunking away at the keyboard on the laptop cuz I see no zzzzzz's in my near future...

So I will sit here and feel as if I am rambling about nothing when in fact I do have a lot to say...the question is are you listening, reading or hearing? I work with kids as most my readers know and they will say the funniest things and tend to catch you off guard...when you least expect it with what they say....for example tonight while giving my daughter a bath I stepped out of the bathroom to take a call from my dearest and most missed Amber. So Im sitting on my bed talking to Amber when I hear "I love my mommy, She loves me, but why Im sitting in the tub all alone I dont know, I love my mommy oh so much, she loves me but leaves me in the tub, My mommy I love and mommy loves me, but in the tub I sit alone..." I started cracking up laughing so hard because my daughter is 5 and she takes bathes all the time and sits for like 5-10 minutes alone in there playing while i start dinner or get a drink or change clothes from work..but tonight she was full of random humor and decided to sing a song about it....that's like the other day at the park, Saturday to be exact...she ended up being the only kid there..can you believe a park with only one kid in it on such nice warm wheather? I mean seriously...we spent 2 hours outside at that park and she was the only kid...well I played with her of course but I will only do so much time on swings...so I sat down to take a texting break and look up and she has six swings just a flying in the air..she is doing her best not to let any one of them stop swinging..when I ask her what she is doing..she laughs and says "Mommy, duh Im swinging my kids...see 1,2,3,4,5,6 kids they all want me to push them..." we laughed so hard...she never has a dull moment that is for sure! So yeah I enjoy every moment with my kid!

Ya know what I hate? not sleeping..I know so deep right..Well if I didnt have a this brain I'd be sleeping a very deep sleep right now...and for all those who want to know...I do not snore...I do however, toss and turn when I am in my bed alone...which reminds me..Amariah has been sleeping in her bed for 2 months straight now..she gives me no fuss, no fights, goes in and gets in bed...I am super dee dupper lee proud of her for this..its a huge ordeal..you have no idea! I sleep in my bed alone and she sleeps wild woman style in her bed....I get a pain free night and she sleeps great too! No waking up after like 30 minutes of sleep to a foot in my back, nose or head butted by her thrashing around in my bed like she owns it! lol I cant tell you how proud I am of her! She is blossoming into an amazing little girl..who is growing up so fast...Yes she has her sassy moments, but hello have you met her mom? lol giggle giggle...and yes she has her little head swirling, neck rolling moments too but again HELLO....have ya met her mom?? She however is a smart little whipper snapper too, but hey I am her mom and I am smart too....just not in the area of picking a man...DO NOT GO THERE....I SAID STOP...

Fine, I will go there for ya...I know my past guys were all jerks, scum and didnt deserve one minute of my time, yeah I know...I sure do know how to pick them...I pick them like I pick my nose...lol wow some of you just got a visual of me picking my nose...well then here see the green slimy booger? lol well that is about the flavor of what guys I have dated..lol slimmy...but that all is changing...yup yup Me and God had a serious talking the other day...and well He won! He got his point across LOUD AND CLEAR! and it was confirmed on a nightly walk with my friend E....who as we were talking (E and I not God and me) E made a comment and it was very ego blowing at first but I knew it was truth and well though I wanted to hit E dead in the face he is a lot taller so my fist would never meet his face less I stand on a step stool and since we were outside and no step stool was around, I refrained from hitting him..your welcome E since I know your reading this...lol No I really didnt want to hit him...or did I??? lol but the comment he made did hit home and began to get me searching my heart, mind and soul oh and spirit as to what I really want in a man....and that led me straight to God's arms where I began to talk to him on this issue...and pour out my heart...desires, wants, needs and all that lovely jazz in the area of what kind of guy I want to find me...and He reminded me of that...to stop looking....He told me to continue falling in love with him (again this is God talking not E) and as I do He will send my man to me...I must position myself in God so that my future husband can find me in God while pursuing for himself God....yeah I know deep..oooohhh oooohh..lol

Truth is, there is more that God revealed to me but guess what.....that's for me to know and you to watch me walk out! That's right I am leaving you hanging...ooooh what ya going do stop reading, yeah right, you are already addicted and love me so much you cant stay away! heee heee giggle giggle...All my readers by now know my silly giddy sense of humor by now so I wont even try and explain....

Which has me thinking again...Since the beginning of this year there have been drastic changes in me...and a lot of folks be seeing them and pointing them out....which is a bit much for me..but I'm learning to allow them to compliment me...These changes are of course all for the good and I a loving them like a folks be loving McDonald's! I personally don't like McDonald's but hey to each their own...

Wow its 2 am and my munchkin just woke up and asked me if I was still on my laptop...lol well guess I need to head off to dream land....but peter pan hasn't arrived yet to sprinkle me with tinkerbells fairy dust so I can fly...what-ever shall I do? I know hold his hand tight and don't let go...as we fly off to dream land....oh wait that was never never land...my bad, well perhaps the ninja will come and take me into dreamland.... yeah.... ninja...

oooh how this night ninja is so handsome and so dreamy, He is amazing... He has a lot of the qualities in him that I have been praying a man has....This ninja has an amazing heart for God, His passion for God is constantly taking him into a deeper walk with God...Ninja isn't fake, he isn't drama. Ninja is a breath of fresh air to me...I can take off the hair and be me around him..the me God designed me to be...no fears, no worries, no drama, no anything but the Me I am when I am not hiding or afraid to be seen...The me who is and was created by God....oh Ninja if only you knew how much you are an answer to prayers...I am so thankful God told us both the same night to get to know each other..and we are obeying...you make me smile sincerely with a sincere smile, because you see the real me...you see me for who I am, not what I do...you appreciate me for who I am not what I offer, you encourage me when I have my moments of drop kicking folks....and you inspire me to take things in my walk with God deeper...You inspire me to not give up on my dreams as I watch you pursue yours, You inspire me to be a better me and to love me better even if that means taking better care of me...and not neglecting myself for the sake of others....You are a God send and I hope I am Your Angel....God knew what he was doing when we became friends....and I am honored to be in your life....What I wrote on the back pages of the black bonded book of life I gave you...I meant them all!

okay enough...see I told you my mind never stops...but I must force it now too or you readers will be up along with me and that is by far to cruel to ask of you....

So till next time.....just keep swimming swimming swimming swimmming in life...don't let yourself drown or give up....