Mommy's Tears

I was awakened at 3am to "Mommy I have to go potty" so I replied "go baby then go back to bed." I hear the most blood crudling scream coming from the bathroom followed by "mommy there is blood in the potty" I jump from bed run to the bathroom to discover my daughter is bleeding. She is only 5 years old. I call my mom since I knew she'd be up because I know her schedule to talk to her a minute. Then I decide to take my daughter to the emergency room. I am glad I did. Turns out she has a very bad bad urinary track infection that is causing blood in the urine. Of course they gave her an antibiotic and her first dose while she was there then sent us on our way. We came home she went back to bed so of course I did too and we didnt wake up til 11am. I was advised to stay home today with her because she is having a lot of accidents and needs to be at home drinking a lot of water and cranberry juice. So I am going to take that and be obedient and keep her home.

That is all for now!

What Does It Mean To Be a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N?

Everyone knows that to be a Christian is more than just Sunday church services, small group Bible studies and potlucks, right? I mean, we've heard from the pulpit or from the scriptures, "God want's more than two hours a week on Sunday morning, He wants your heart, He wants your whole life."

So, since we know this, what more is there in our lives and in our hearts to testify of our faith? If church on Sunday is a given, and Bible study is squeezed in between dinner and bed on Thursday, what else is there??

What does that even mean? "...God wants your heart." He wants our complete obedience? He wants to do everything He tells us to do? He wants us to go to church and never miss? Is it simply that He wants us to do a number of daily tasks--read our Bible, smile and say thank you, go to church, and be joyful always? And if we do these things we've granted His request for our hearts?

We say, "well, no. I don't think that's it. I think there's more to it than that."

Okay, so, what is it? I mean, we're Christians, right? And if being a Christian is more, more than church services, Bible-reading, table manners and PG movies, then we should do something more, something in addition, right?

To be a Christian means to "be as Christ," or, "little Christ." That's all of it. That's what it means to be a Christian. But, the catch is that anything less than this will not be sufficient. Anything less means you're no different from the guy or girl who knows NOTHING of Jesus, who's never stepped into church or said a prayer.

We say, "Well, that's impossible. Jesus was perfect. He never sinned. He always did what was right, even when he was tempted to do wrong. He helped the poor...lived with them actually, he made long trips just to heal someone or help them with their struggles. He walked everywhere he went, and, well you just can't do that today, cities are much larger and time is too scarce... He always told people the truth, even if they wouldn't like hearing it... He spoke to large crowds about life and truth and baptized people and prayed for them, I mean He was a a real leader, the GREATEST leader, and I don't even like talking in front of my small group Bible study... God can't possibly ask me to be like HIM???"

Yet, that is the truth we find, read, and re-read throughout the Scriptures. We must be like Him. Anything less isn't enough. Thank God for grace.

Sing the Melody from Within

Sing, sing, don't stop keep singing,

"I am trying, I really am, its hard"

Push, don't let the circumstances you face or that suround you silence your song"

"I am pushing, I just don't know if I can keep pushing. even the strong get weak at times."

Ever feel like that is the coversation you have when life throws more on your shoulders than you think you can handle? I know there have been times when I have been the one screaming I am singing my song but it hurts.....and then there have been times when I have been found guilty of just giving up and letting the inner song fade deep into the darkness of piling high circumstances.......and falling into a "pity party" because it was easier than pushing through while singing loud my hearts song.


So lets assume you have gotten to a place where you have forgotten the lyrics to the song that you sing? Or perhaps you have come to the place where you question the importance of even singing your song when it seems like nothing is changing....

Well for me I found that my song was a bit of strength for me and the more I sang the more I seen myself gain determination to keep my head held high and push through whatever was facing me. I often say I am not that strong, but I have found that I am stronger than I really give myself credit for.....

Okay so back to what do you do if the song you sing has become a silent memory and your longing to sing again....

1. Remember that nothing is worth letting your song die.
2. Everything we face is to help us sing louder despite the "pushing process"
3. Memorize and Believe Isaiah 12:2 " Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid for the Lord is my strength and my song, He is also my salvation."

We know that Jevhovah is our strength but do we make him our song? As we make Him so and sing of Him, we lose our fear. We are able to "trust and not be afraid." Our Redeemer is our STRENGTH so make him your SONG too!

I know some of you are reading this and perhaps you feel that its God that is to blame for your mess, or even loosing your song. But I assure you that isn't the case and if you allow him to be your savior again and begin to sing your song, you will see that He is your strength and your Song will begin to be heard across the drama you face and the obsticles that stand in your way....and perhaps its your song that helps someone else out of the "pit" they are in that has allowed them to loose their song....and they begin to sing their song in turn helping others find their voice, song and purpose in life.

Lessons Learned From The Princess

A great king of a land far away in the East had a daughter who was very beautiful, but so proud and haughty and conceited, that none of the princes who came to ask for her hand in marriage was good enough for her. All she ever did was make fun of them.
Once upon a time the king held a great feast and invited all her suitors. They all sat in a row, ranged according to their rank -- kings and princes and dukes and earls and counts and barons and knights. When the princess came in, as she passed by them, she had something spiteful to say to each one.
The first was too fat: 'He's as round as a tub,' she said.
The next was too tall: 'What a maypole!' she said.
The next was too short: 'What a dumpling!' she said.
The fourth was too pale, and she called him 'Wallface.'
The fifth was too red, so she called him 'Coxcomb.'
The sixth was not straight enough; so she said he was like a green stick that had been laid to dry over a baker's oven. She had some joke to crack about every one. But she laughed most of all at a good king who was there.
'Look at him,' she said; 'his beard is like an old mop; he shall be called Grisly-beard.' So the king got the nickname of Grisly-beard.
But the old king was very angry when he saw how his daughter behaved and how badly she treated all his guests. He vowed that, willing or unwilling, she would marry the first man that came to the door.
Two days later a travelling fiddler came by the castle. He began to play under the window and begged for money and when the king heard him, he said, 'Let him come in.'
So, they brought the dirty-looking fellow in and, when he had sung before the king and the princess, he begged for a gift.
The king said, 'You have sung so well that I will give you my daughter to take as your wife.'
The princess begged and prayed; but the king said, 'I have sworn to give you to the first man who came to the door, and I will keep my word.'
Words and tears were to no avail; the parson was sent for, and she was married to the fiddler.
When this was over, the king said, 'Now get ready to leave -- you must not stay here -- you must travel with your husband.'
So the fiddler left the castle, and took the princess with him.
Soon they came to a great wood.
'Pray,' she said, 'whose is this wood?'
'It belongs to King Grisly-beard,' he answered; 'hadst thou taken him, all would have been thine.'
'Ah! unlucky wretch that I am!' she sighed; 'would that I had married King Grisly-beard!'
Next they came to some fine meadows.
'Whose are these beautiful green meadows?' she said.
'They belong to King Grisly-beard, hadst thou taken him, they would all have been thine.'
'Ah! unlucky wretch that I am!' she said; 'would that I had married King Grisly-beard!'
Then they came to a great city. 'Whose is this noble city?' she said.
'It belongs to King Grisly-beard; hadst thou taken him, it would all have been thine.'
'Ah! wretch that I am!' she sighed; 'why did I not marry King Grisly-beard?'
'That is no business of mine,' said the fiddler, 'why should you wish for another husband? Am I not good enough for you?'
At last they came to a small cottage. 'What a paltry place!' she said; 'to whom does that little dirty hole belong?'
The fiddler said, 'That is your and my house, where we are to live.'
'Where are your servants?' she cried.
'What do we want with servants?' he said; 'you must do for yourself whatever is to be done. Now make the fire, and put on water and cook my supper, for I am very tired.'
But the princess knew nothing of making fires and cooking, and the fiddler was forced to help her.
When they had eaten a very scanty meal they went to bed; but the fiddler called her up very early in the morning to clean the house.
They lived like that for two days and when they had eaten up all there was in the cottage, the man said, 'Wife, we can't go on thus, spending money and earning nothing. You must learn to weave baskets.'
Then the fiddler went out and cut willows, and brought them home, and she began to weave; but it made her fingers very sore.
'I see this work won't do,' he said, 'try and spin; perhaps you will do that better.'
So she sat down and tried to spin; but the threads cut her tender fingers until the blood ran.
'See now,' said the fiddler, 'you are good for nothing; you can do no work. What a bargain I have got! However, I'll try and set up a trade in pots and pans, and you shall stand in the market and sell them.'
'Alas!' she sighed, 'if any of my father's court should pass by and see me standing in the market, how they will laugh at me!'
But her husband did not care about that, and said she would have to work if she did not want to die of hunger.
At first the trade went well because many people, seeing such a beautiful woman, went to buy her wares and paid their money without even thinking of taking away the goods. They lived on this as long as it lasted and then her husband bought a fresh lot of pots and pans, and she sat herself down with it in the corner of the market.
However, soon a drunken soldier soon came by and rode his horse against her stall and broke all her goods into a thousand pieces.
She began to cry, and did not know what to do. 'Ah! what will become of me?' she said; 'what will my husband say?' So she ran home and told him everything.
'Who would have thought you would have been so silly,' he said, 'as to put an earthenware stall in the corner of the market, where everybody passes? But let us have no more crying; I see you are not fit for this sort of work, so I have been to the king's palace, and asked if they did not want a kitchen-maid; and they say they will take you, and there you will have plenty to eat.'
So the princess became a kitchen-maid and helped the cook to do all the dirtiest work. She was allowed to carry home some of the meat that was left over, and they lived on that.
She had not been there long before she heard that the king's eldest son was passing by, on his way to get married. She went to one of the windows and looked out. Everything was ready and all the pomp and brightness of the court was there. Seeing it, she grieved bitterly for the pride and folly that had brought her so low. The servants gave her some of the rich meats and she put them into her basket to take home.
All of a sudden, as she was leaving, in came the king's son in his golden clothes. When he saw such a beautiful woman at the door, he took her by the hand and said she should be his partner in the dance. She trembled with fear because she saw that it was King Grisly-beard, who was making fun of her. However, he kept hold of her, and led her into the hall. As she entered, the cover of the basket came off, and the meats in it fell out. Everybody laughed and jeered at her and she was so ashamed that she wished she were a thousand feet deep in the earth. She sprang over to the door so that she could run away but on the steps King Grisly-beard overtook her, brought her back and said:
'Fear me not! I am the fiddler who has lived with you in the hut. I brought you there because I truly loved you. I am also the soldier that overset your stall. I have done all this only to cure you of your silly pride, and to show you the folly of your ill-treatment of me. Now it is all over: you have learnt wisdom, and it is time to hold our marriage feast.'
Then the chamberlains came and brought her the most beautiful robes. Her father and his whole court were already there, and they welcomed her home. Joy was in every face and every heart. The feast was grand; they danced and sang; everyone was merry; and I only wish that you and I had been there.
The End...But Wait there is more...


After reading this story I was reminded of how much our Heavenly Father loves us, flaws, short comings and all! We are his princesses and yet his bride. Think about that...Here is a king of royalty willing to take us ratty, tattered and torn, broken, bruised, scarred and flawed, and extend mercy and grace that cleans us up and makes us shining and new as if we just stepped out of a salon from an extreme makeover.

There are more times than we can count I am sure where we sell ourself short in areas of life. Yet in God's eyes we are doing a good job. Being our own worse critic can sometimes cause condemnation where conviction isn't. Yet we beat ourselves up time and time again when our Abba Father is saying, "my daughter, its okay...so you messed up, you repented its forgotten. Relax, Rest, Tomorrow is a new day." Yet we somehow feel as if he isn't being sincere so we keep trying to perfect ourselves. When we really need to heed to his voice and breathe, start fresh when the sun comes up. Had the above princess in the story had not let her pride get in the way..she perhaps could of cut a lot of crap out of her journey to the castle of her new husband. When we humble ourselves to the Will, Voice and Guidance of God we too can save ourself a lot of crap (talking from experience). So my fellow princesses let's learn from this prideful princess (in the story) and take a position of being humble, teachable and Christlike Character so we can advance to the next place with/in God!

My Love Story

Its in the secret place where I feel your embrace, with every intimate encounter we share my love for you grows stronger. No one knows I crave for these times, for with you I am complete. Only you could come out of the grave holding all power and authority and all the while molding me and into your image day by da. I will do my best not to defile our sacred chamber of romance, for when Im with you I find rest. No one compares to you my love, your joy unspeakable your touch undeniable. You’ve awakened my heart stirred my spirit and settled my soul. You have many names yet you play no games, You love so genuinely and unconditionally yet I tend to be selfish and limiting. How can this be my dear love? When I am with you there is no fear cuz I know your always near. I’ve experienced you for myself so I know that your not a myth. They said taste and see how good you are but to me you are great! You’re the lover of my soul, the best I know, my friend, my redeemer, My council, my joy, my abba, my fair one, my judge, my advocate, the great I am who loves and is by far is the best love I could have!

Candace, That's Me

It was one of those days today where the head was just spinning round and round and around....and wouldnt stop..no folks I wasnt hung over, or drinking..I was doing what I always do and that is think! I know right call the press, alert the media Candace thinks...lol I think way too much if you ask me....I was blessed (I've been told) with a very anylitical brain which means it never shuts down...if put up against the energizer bunny in a race my brain would leave the bunny hoping in the dust as it flies down the track! Seriously I think I am the only human with a brain that goes 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 mph. I know right seems impossible yet alone hard to even translate into numberical verbal language...


So I should be sleeping by now but like I said my head is keeping the rest of me awake and no matter what I do, say, pray or try here I am plunking away at the keyboard on the laptop cuz I see no zzzzzz's in my near future...

So I will sit here and feel as if I am rambling about nothing when in fact I do have a lot to say...the question is are you listening, reading or hearing? I work with kids as most my readers know and they will say the funniest things and tend to catch you off guard...when you least expect it with what they say....for example tonight while giving my daughter a bath I stepped out of the bathroom to take a call from my dearest and most missed Amber. So Im sitting on my bed talking to Amber when I hear "I love my mommy, She loves me, but why Im sitting in the tub all alone I dont know, I love my mommy oh so much, she loves me but leaves me in the tub, My mommy I love and mommy loves me, but in the tub I sit alone..." I started cracking up laughing so hard because my daughter is 5 and she takes bathes all the time and sits for like 5-10 minutes alone in there playing while i start dinner or get a drink or change clothes from work..but tonight she was full of random humor and decided to sing a song about it....that's like the other day at the park, Saturday to be exact...she ended up being the only kid there..can you believe a park with only one kid in it on such nice warm wheather? I mean seriously...we spent 2 hours outside at that park and she was the only kid...well I played with her of course but I will only do so much time on swings...so I sat down to take a texting break and look up and she has six swings just a flying in the air..she is doing her best not to let any one of them stop swinging..when I ask her what she is doing..she laughs and says "Mommy, duh Im swinging my kids...see 1,2,3,4,5,6 kids they all want me to push them..." we laughed so hard...she never has a dull moment that is for sure! So yeah I enjoy every moment with my kid!

Ya know what I hate? not sleeping..I know so deep right..Well if I didnt have a this brain I'd be sleeping a very deep sleep right now...and for all those who want to know...I do not snore...I do however, toss and turn when I am in my bed alone...which reminds me..Amariah has been sleeping in her bed for 2 months straight now..she gives me no fuss, no fights, goes in and gets in bed...I am super dee dupper lee proud of her for this..its a huge ordeal..you have no idea! I sleep in my bed alone and she sleeps wild woman style in her bed....I get a pain free night and she sleeps great too! No waking up after like 30 minutes of sleep to a foot in my back, nose or head butted by her thrashing around in my bed like she owns it! lol I cant tell you how proud I am of her! She is blossoming into an amazing little girl..who is growing up so fast...Yes she has her sassy moments, but hello have you met her mom? lol giggle giggle...and yes she has her little head swirling, neck rolling moments too but again HELLO....have ya met her mom?? She however is a smart little whipper snapper too, but hey I am her mom and I am smart too....just not in the area of picking a man...DO NOT GO THERE....I SAID STOP...

Fine, I will go there for ya...I know my past guys were all jerks, scum and didnt deserve one minute of my time, yeah I know...I sure do know how to pick them...I pick them like I pick my nose...lol wow some of you just got a visual of me picking my nose...well then here see the green slimy booger? lol well that is about the flavor of what guys I have dated..lol slimmy...but that all is changing...yup yup Me and God had a serious talking the other day...and well He won! He got his point across LOUD AND CLEAR! and it was confirmed on a nightly walk with my friend E....who as we were talking (E and I not God and me) E made a comment and it was very ego blowing at first but I knew it was truth and well though I wanted to hit E dead in the face he is a lot taller so my fist would never meet his face less I stand on a step stool and since we were outside and no step stool was around, I refrained from hitting him..your welcome E since I know your reading this...lol No I really didnt want to hit him...or did I??? lol but the comment he made did hit home and began to get me searching my heart, mind and soul oh and spirit as to what I really want in a man....and that led me straight to God's arms where I began to talk to him on this issue...and pour out my heart...desires, wants, needs and all that lovely jazz in the area of what kind of guy I want to find me...and He reminded me of that...to stop looking....He told me to continue falling in love with him (again this is God talking not E) and as I do He will send my man to me...I must position myself in God so that my future husband can find me in God while pursuing for himself God....yeah I know deep..oooohhh oooohh..lol

Truth is, there is more that God revealed to me but guess what.....that's for me to know and you to watch me walk out! That's right I am leaving you hanging...ooooh what ya going do stop reading, yeah right, you are already addicted and love me so much you cant stay away! heee heee giggle giggle...All my readers by now know my silly giddy sense of humor by now so I wont even try and explain....

Which has me thinking again...Since the beginning of this year there have been drastic changes in me...and a lot of folks be seeing them and pointing them out....which is a bit much for me..but I'm learning to allow them to compliment me...These changes are of course all for the good and I a loving them like a folks be loving McDonald's! I personally don't like McDonald's but hey to each their own...

Wow its 2 am and my munchkin just woke up and asked me if I was still on my laptop...lol well guess I need to head off to dream land....but peter pan hasn't arrived yet to sprinkle me with tinkerbells fairy dust so I can fly...what-ever shall I do? I know hold his hand tight and don't let go...as we fly off to dream land....oh wait that was never never land...my bad, well perhaps the ninja will come and take me into dreamland.... yeah.... ninja...

oooh how this night ninja is so handsome and so dreamy, He is amazing... He has a lot of the qualities in him that I have been praying a man has....This ninja has an amazing heart for God, His passion for God is constantly taking him into a deeper walk with God...Ninja isn't fake, he isn't drama. Ninja is a breath of fresh air to me...I can take off the hair and be me around him..the me God designed me to be...no fears, no worries, no drama, no anything but the Me I am when I am not hiding or afraid to be seen...The me who is and was created by God....oh Ninja if only you knew how much you are an answer to prayers...I am so thankful God told us both the same night to get to know each other..and we are obeying...you make me smile sincerely with a sincere smile, because you see the real me...you see me for who I am, not what I do...you appreciate me for who I am not what I offer, you encourage me when I have my moments of drop kicking folks....and you inspire me to take things in my walk with God deeper...You inspire me to not give up on my dreams as I watch you pursue yours, You inspire me to be a better me and to love me better even if that means taking better care of me...and not neglecting myself for the sake of others....You are a God send and I hope I am Your Angel....God knew what he was doing when we became friends....and I am honored to be in your life....What I wrote on the back pages of the black bonded book of life I gave you...I meant them all!

okay enough...see I told you my mind never stops...but I must force it now too or you readers will be up along with me and that is by far to cruel to ask of you....

So till next time.....just keep swimming swimming swimming swimmming in life...don't let yourself drown or give up....

Inner Heart Song

Ever just have one of those days...where you want to scream, cry and stomp your feet? I did and today was the day....I have never been so vulnerable in my life..

I am seeking you,Oh Lord
Seeking your face, My God
Seeking your Will, Oh Father,

I am running after you,
I am running after you,
I am running after you, Oh Lord,

I am chasing after you,
I am chasing after you,
I am chasing after you, Oh Lord

Running to you with all that I have
Running to you with all my fears
Running to you just 'cuz your you

Lord, you know what is troubling me tonight, I cast this issue to you..take these feelings and do as you please...stop this head of mine...I trust you and give you complete access to my life...

I love you Abba Father....

The Journey of Love

Just when I think I have mastered loving people, God calls me to walk, learn and go deeper in the area of Love. It’s a stretching proccess but one I am willing to go. He never promised it to be easy, He never said there wouldn’t be trials or obsticles. In fact, I have had to pull knives out of my back several times from folks God told me to LOVE… I cant be responsible for what a person does with the love that I give, I am just responsible for demonstrating, activating and releasing this Love and trusting God to do with it at his will.
The journey to loving is far from over for me in fact, it just started on the right path about a year ago for me… Being in dead end relationships most my life caused me to have a “fuzzy image” of what REAL LOVE is all about. Yeah, sure I knew what real love was but other than experiencing this REAL LOVE from my Heavenly Father, I had yet experienced it here in “human form”. I have learned it is very hard for the average person to walk in this REAL LOVE because of many reasons…It isn’t until we open our hearts first to receive God and his love for us that we can begin to open our hearts to release or receive LOVE from people.
Everyone has a love language that they speak learning that language is a very important key in receiving and activating love in our lives. I have learned my love language may be way different than the one that I am to pour out my love to therefore, I must learn their love language so that I can see that my love is indeed being accepted/rejected and when love is being poured into my life (after all we all speak a different love language).
Now, note that I am talking about love in many forms, from God to us, from us to God, to us from others (friends) or from a spouse to a spouse. Yes, God wants us to love our friends, He even wants us to love our enemies…Imagine that, loving someone who “hates you”!
I believe that we all have this dark underestimation of ourselves. Sometimes it is masked as arrogance, overestimation, superiority, but underneath the brashness he problem is insecurity and only unqualified, unmerited, unconditional love can assuage it.
I also believe, the Lord does not look so much at the magnitude of anything we do as at the love with which we do it. If we accomplish what we can, His Majesty will see to it that we become able to do more each day. We must not begin by growing weary; but during the whole of this short life, which for any one of you may be shorter than you think, we must offer the Lord whatever interior and exterior sacrifice we are able to give Him, and His Majesty will unite it with that which He offered to the Father for us upon the Cross, so that it may have the value won for it by our will, even though our actions in themselves may be trivial.
I have learned along this journey that:
Love is an act of endless forgiveness.
If we want the advantages of love, then we must be willing to take the risks of love. And that requires vulnerability. Of course, we can refuse this path and trod another one devoid of openness. But the toll on such a road is extremely high.

It is wonderful how the exercise of one's will in a matter like this will eventuate in the correct emotions. Determining to wish that person's good; deliberately trying to do something loving for him; and praying for him - all this will some day bring about the emotion of love itself. But love, as the Bible interprets it, is an affair of the will, not necessarily of the emotions.
Our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously - no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner - no mere tolerance or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment.
Open your hearts to the love God instills... God loves you tenderly. What He gives you is not to be kept under lock and key but to be shared.
Faith tolerates a moderate love of ones fellow man no more than it tolerates a moderate love between God and man.
Instead of allowing yourself to be unhappy, just let your love grow as God wants it to grow. Seek goodness in others. Love more persons more... love them more impersonally, more unselfishly, without thought of return. The return, never fear, will take care of itself.
The way to love someone is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul until you find a crack, and then gently pour your love into that crack.
The proof that you love someone is not that you have warm affectionate feelings toward them. The proof is in your actions, your words and your sacrifice, your willingness to give the best of yourself and your willingness to get nothing in return.
Christianity is not about ideas but about deeds inspired by love.
Romantic love is blind to everything except what is lovable and lovely, but Christ's love sees us with terrible clarity and sees us whole. Christ's love so wishes our joy that it is ruthless against everything in us that diminishes our joy. The worst sentence Love can pass is that we behold the suffering which Love has endured for our sake, and that is also our acquittal. The justice and mercy of the judge are ultimately one.
There are many who want me to tell them of secret ways of becoming perfect and I can only tell them that the sole secret is a hearty love of God, and the only way of attaining that love is by loving. You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working; and just so you learn to love God and man by loving. Begin as a mere apprentice and the very power of love will lead you on to become a master of the art
Love does not inquire into the character of the recipient but it asks what he needs. It does not love him because he is such-and-such a person but because he is there. In all this it is quite the opposite of natural love: it "does not seek its own". It does not perform the characteristic natural impulse of love and life. Therefore it is basically independent of the conduct of the other person; it is not conditional but absolute. It wants nothing for itself but only for others. Therefore it is also not vulnerable. It never 'reacts" but is always "spontaneous", emerging by its own strength - rather, from the power of God. Love is the real God-likeness of man for which he has been created. In so far as love is in man he really resembles God and shows himself to be the child of God.


*Originaly written back in April 2010 and posted on my facebook page.

Thought Provoking Topic Today

I found this today during my devotion time and thought I'd share it since I know several people including myself who will benefit from this blog! Please don't be alarmed by the length, just read it and let it minister to you the way it did me!

How Bitterness Affects Us

by Charles F. Stanley



Do you become critical of certain people the moment their names are mentioned? Is there anyone in your past upon whom you would enjoy taking revenge? Did somebody reject you years ago in such a way that still hurts when you think about it?



If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you might be harboring unforgiveness. The Bible warns us not to allow resentment to get a foothold in our lives. The book of Hebrews tells us to “see to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled” (Heb. 12:15).



For the believer, resentment is never the right response to suffering, no matter what people have done to us. We may not even be consciously aware that we are nursing bitterness, but its consequences are subtle and many.



Physical Illnesses



Bitterness is like a continually running machine that uses our bodies for its energy source. Medical professionals consistently are finding links between the way our bodies function and the way we think. Resentment, anger, and other negative emotions have been associated with glandular problems, high blood pressure, cardiac disorders, ulcers and a host of other physical ailments.



I saw this illustrated through some friends of mine whom I will call the Browns. Mrs. Brown had cancer, so she and her husband sought the best medical treatment. Her doctor had been studying the relationship between negative emotions and cancer.

Day after day, he went to talk to her about her past. One day, in the midst of their conversation, she began to cry. She confessed bitterness towards her parents that had happened years ago. When she got it all out, she was freed, liberated and forgiven. It is the doctor’s opinion that Mrs. Brown would not have recovered had she not rid herself of that resentment.



“Stained” Relationships



Bitterness causes one person trouble and defiles others. As used in Hebrews 12:15, the Greek word for defile (miaino) means “to stain” or “to dye.” The resentment we harbor will stain our relationships. This is one reason why there are so many separations, divorces and broken homes.



One couple I counseled illustrates this principle. Despite the wife’s best attempts to love her husband, she couldn’t break through his hardened emotional wall. Through counseling, we discovered that he couldn’t forgive his mother for dying when he was twelve. He was mad at his mother for leaving him, and his anger was staining his marriage.



Bitterness can paralyze us. Even when we genuinely want to love another person, we can’t. Spouses, parents and children wonder why they can’t break through the barrier and experience genuine love. But deep inside, these people may find themselves infected by roots of anger and resentment, even simmering hatred.



Bitterness has so many little sprouts to it. Distrust is one of them. Insecurity is another. When the Bible says to “see to it that … no root of bitterness (springs) up,” it is because the consequences are so awesome and ongoing.



Spiritual Stumbling Blocks



Bitterness creates a cloak of guilt. We know we shouldn’t feel the way we do toward others, and we know God doesn’t want us to be full of resentment. We sense a barrier between God and ourselves and begin to doubt our salvation.



Bitterness also hinders our influence for Christ. What kind of Christian testimony can we have if we are resentful toward God and toward our neighbors? How can we convincingly talk to others about the forgiveness of God when we refuse to forgive those who have wronged us? When we allow bitterness to take over our lives, it spills over into the lives of those around us.



Ed and Nancy had a story book wedding, and they excitedly made plans for their family. They would have a boy and a girl. Sure enough, their firstborn was a boy. But the second pregnancy had complications, and the doctor told them this would be their last child. Unfortunately—from ....Nancy....’s point of view—their second child was also a boy. ....Nancy.... couldn’t bring herself to love her younger child, blaming him for robbing her of the little girl she always wanted.

Eventually, she divorced Ed for not understanding her and declined custody of either son. Her bitterness destroyed their small family.



How many of us harbor offenses? How many of us are angry adults because we don’t feel loved? We need to deal with negative feelings about those who have hurt or wronged us. An unforgiving spirit is a devastating attitude that none of us can afford. Determine today to let go of bitterness, and be set free to enjoy life again.


Adapted from "The Gift of Forgiveness" (1991).


How To Overcome and be Free of Bitterness
Bitterness often lies beneath our inability to forgive, denying our peace and destroying our relationships. In this study, we’ll examine what the Bible says about bitterness.
A. Bitterness Defined
The Greek word for bitterness (pikria) comes from the root word pik, which means “to cut.” The term refers something cutting and sharp, and it also implies “bitter taste.”
As a response to wrongdoing, bitterness is never acceptable before God. Nothing good ever comes from resentment. It will eat away at us until we are destroyed.
· What does Hebrews 12:15 warn?



B. A Biblical Example
The devastation of bitterness is vividly depicted in the life of King Saul. He began his reign as a respected and favored ruler, but he ended his life in defeat, sorrow, and suicide. The ravages of a bitter spirit were largely responsible for his demise.
The king’s problem likely began with anger towards his Creator for promising the throne to someone else. After Saul blatantly disobeyed God’s instructions, a prophet told him, “The Lord has torn the ....kingdom.. of ..Israel.... from you today and has given it to your neighbor, who is better than you” (1 Sam. 15:28).
By the time David entered the scene, Saul was primed to resent him.
· How did the king react when the people praised the younger warrior? (1 Sam. 18:1-9)



· Why do you think Saul was afraid?



· What would have been a healthy response to David’s victory?



Bitterness eventually develops into scheming and plotting. We might wish circumstances would destroy those who have hurt or offended us. In time, we may even harm them ourselves.
· How did Saul attempt to have David killed? (1 Sam. 18: 20-27)



Bitterness also separates relationships. Notice that Saul sent David out of his presence (1 Sam. 18:13).
· How did the king communicate with David regarding the warrior’s marriage to Michal? (1 Sam. 18:20-27)



When bitterness becomes our master, we may act foolishly and irrationally. Our unhealthiness can injure those closest to us and other innocent people.
· What did Saul do when Jonathan tried to defend David? (1 Sam. 20:27-33)



· How did Saul punish the people from Nob who aided David? (1 Sam. 22:12-19)



C. Power Over Bitterness
When resentment has been growing a long time, its removal is not always instantaneous. As children of God, however, we have the capacity to eliminate all bitterness from our lives.
· What should motivate us to forgive others? (Luke 6:36-37)



Note: Jesus didn’t mean that our heavenly Father will not forgive us if we haven’t pardoned others. Here, Jesus is talking about the forgiveness that affects fellowship within the family of God, not the forgiveness that leads to salvation. The point is that the community of believers is to be a forgiving community, showing mercy to others just as God has shown mercy to them. He wants us to be reconciled to one another.
When we fully comprehend God’s forgiveness toward us, we simply cannot justify holding anyone else accountable.
· Why are we able to forgive others? (Gal. 2:20)



Just as Jesus forgave all who crucified Him, His life within us makes it possible to forgive all kinds of hurts and abuse. Because we are children of God, it’s out of character for us to allow bitter roots to take hold. By faith, we can allow Christ to express mercy through us toward others.
D. Steps to Freedom From Bitterness
As you’ve completed this study, maybe you’ve thought of someone who brings bitter feelings to mind. Follow these steps to find emotional and spiritual freedom.
1. Make a list of the ways in which that person has offended you.
2. Make a list of your own faults.
3. Make a list of things you’ve done for which God has forgiven you.
4. Ask God to help you view that person who has wronged you as a tool in His hand.
5. Ask God to forgive you for your bitterness toward that person.
6. Decide in your heart to assume total responsibility for your attitude.
7. If you feel it’s appropriate and will not cause more problems than it solves, go to that person, confess your bitterness, and ask for forgiveness. Remember, you are assuming responsibility for your attitude; you are not trying to solicit a confession from them.
Closing: We have two choices: We can allow bitterness to destroy us, or we can allow God to develop us into the people He wants us to be. We must choose to view our circumstances as tools God uses to further develop our spiritual lives.
Prayer: Father, thank You for the mercy You’ve graciously shown me. Please give me the ability to forgive those who have wronged me. I want to be completely free from bitterness and its devastating consequences. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
Adapted from The Gift of Forgiveness, by Charles F. Stanley. 1991. pp. 133-147.

Insecure People Produce Controlling Behavior Leading to Misery

People crack me up. I find it funny how you folks want to add your profile to their account and then the next day they delete you....Or perhaps its a controling mate that has access to the account that deletes you because they are insecure....in either way it's annoying and a waste of time...hence why now I have my profile set on private and will only accept the real friends to my circle here on myspace.

So I cleaned the bathroom, vaccuumed the house, straightened up our bedroom and even found time to clean out my little girl's closet so that all the clothes she has out grown or doesn't wear can be donated to a local shelter or pregnancy crisis center. There is no use hoarding them when others could use them who need them.

I just need to shower and get myself ready for work but I still have an hour! I managed to even get breakfast made, and my little girl dressed! Imagine that all done by noon and I woke up at 9:30 am! I hauled booty! I am proud of myself. I leave here at 1pm or around 1:30pm so I can run to the grocery store before work to buy some of the stuff I need for dinner tonight and then off to work! I am making a yummy dinner tonight cuz I am in the mood to cook! I pulled out the chicken, I will get the alfredo noodles and the salad stuff on my way to work, thank goodness I can store the salad stuff in the fridge at work til I get out!

My little girl goes to granny nanny's house tonight so I will be able to go through toys and start making room for the christmas gifts. I also will be able to sleep in tomorrow which will be nice for a change. She is excited she loves her sleep overs, she has fun and so does granny nanny! And it helps our relationship by letting us have our space...now don't get me wrong I miss her so much when she is gone, I find myself sleeping in her bed, watching her favorite cartoons, and even drinking out of her little cups, but I do appreciate the break. I went for so long with it being just us, never letting her out of my site and very few sleep overs because with out her I felt incomplete but now, I realize that we both have our own identities and if I live life through her I rob myself of many things and I put extra pressure on her and force her to live a life that may not be waht she wants.....Those who know me know what I mean....I won't even try to explain this paragraph. I just know that we both have fun while missing each other, but it works out!

I just need to take all the trash out now and the house will be in tip top shape when I get home from work. I love coming home to a clean picked up house....Just makes the relaxation period more enjoyable. Know what I mean?

Well for those of you who haven't found my rambling boring, I will begin the blog now! lol

My aunt gave me two books awhile back to read and I must confess I haven't even picked them up to start reading until today when I picked them up to flip through. And well I read a page and realized that I am having fun right now in life...I am drama free, stress free and able to laugh and have fun without being judged and looked at like I'm dumb! I love it....

Ever have a day, week, month or year where you just couldn't take one more small insignificant or even large irritation? I have and they all ended recently...but here's my story if your still reading. It started when I got a letter in the mail telling me I was behind on not one but 3 bills, I got word that my hours at work were being decreased due to the decrease in enrollment, my granny lost her job due to stupid people and their stupid mouth, my house work was piling up and it those who know me know I hate a dirty or cluttery house....so I was at my witts end... I realize there are bigger problems than these but they were wearing me down and the encouragement was decreasing rapidly that all would be better soon. I was becoming blah! I kept looking for some small little lift that would increase my faith, make me smile, even help me see the situation less hectic than it really was. But so far nothing. It wasn't til I decided to start going to the gym that I began to feel the weight of my "burdens" begin to lift..yeah I know some of you are saying did you give them to God...UH DUH I DID! But I didn't see any results with the natural eyes so it was hard to keep the faith. I am human!
I was thrown out of my game of working out when I got sick, I don't enjoy straining my body when it's already in pain and agony...So it was 8 days before I hit the gym again but I feel great. I went to church Sunday and some things took place that even made the weight on my shoulders intensify but I choose to keep my head held high and keep going....I went thursday for my photo shoot with my best friend and it was just what the doctor ordered to regain my joy and eliminate my frustration and irritation!

Speeding up to today 10/14/09 I have realized while in my quiet time with God and even my workout time that there are a lot of hurting people that are hurting in so many ways, Even those who have a deep abiding joy in the Lord can sometimes sag under the weight of all life's garbage. So whenever you see a moment to seize a smile across your face, don't take it forgranted and let it remind you that God does indeed care and love you. Let it be a reminder that despite what your facing God is indeed in control and that no matter what the situation is there is light at the end of the tunnel.....Because it is easier to pull yourself out of the pit than to stay in the pit....

Psalms 9:1-2
"I will praise you Oh Lord, with my whole heart, I will tell of your marvelous works, I will be glad and rejoice in You, I will sing praise to your name O most High"

Proverbs 15:13 read it!

Zephaniah 3:17 has been one of my favorite verses right now....
"The Lord your God in your midst The mighty One will save, He will rejoice over you with singing."
This verse reminds me of how awesome my God is and that Dady does indeed care about me and what I go through and that I need to give him praise despite what my flesh feels like doing because of what it sees or is experiencing...

Well for now I must end this blog, I need to get ready for my adventure in this big big world....lol

*chow*